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How to take care of your medic.

22 August 201011:12AMgamesrants

Hey! This post is really old. You should take it with a grain of salt.

I'm actually not a huge fan of first-person shooters, mostly because they seem to be aimed squarely at 14-year-old males with an intimate knowledge of the difference between and M15 and an M16 who squeak into the voice chat and call everyone a ganking cocksucking noob- a demographic of which I am most definitely not a member. Team Fortress 2, on the other hand, is the total opposite of this. It's accessible (ie, the Flamethrower is called a Flamethrower and not a P-417DQR mk II), and the players are generally mature and pleasant and have a decent sense of humour. But this is now what I am here to talk about today.

Today I am here to talk about the Care and Feeding of the Common or Garden Medic. Specifically, the one played by me.

Your medic is your friend. He is here to help you, and takes pleasure (and assist points) from your success. However, just because this alliance is mutually beneficial, does not let you take your healgun-wielding teammate for granted. Thus, I shall endeavour to provide a succinct list of DOs and DO NOTs in order to help you make the most of your medic.

• DO try to keep your medic alive. This is a lot easier than it sounds, because medics are naturally shy creatures and will hide behind walls in an attempt to stay out of the firing line and make the most of their self-regeneration. However, as the medic's chosen charge, you have a duty to defend him from oncoming foes, especially spies, pyros, spies, scouts, spies, pyros, and spies. This means if you hear your medic screaming into the voice chat "BEHIND YOU BEHIND YOU OH GODS BEHIND YOU SAVE ME AAAARRRRGH!", it's probably a good idea to turn around and shoot whatever is assailing your medic, because if he dies, in all likelihood so do you.
• DO NOT assume you are invincible whenever a medic is healing you. The medigun can only heal so much, and if you're taking fire from the entire Red team, one medic isn't going to keep you alive for very long. It's not a crime to drop back for a few seconds and let your health build up. But, by the same token...
• DO use the Ubercharge wisely. I mean it. If you get Ubered, you damn well better run in and clear that room, or at least make a reasonable attempt. Whatever you do, don't just stand still or run in circles or jump around the enemy base and not shoot anything, revelling in your newfound invincibility (that word has a lot of i in it). Remember, you only get 8 seconds, so make the most of it.
• DO NOT call for a medic unless you are either a) hurt, b) a heavy or c) another medic. Sometimes soldiers, pyros or demomen might get a look in when there's no heavy (and are actually better targets for an ubercharge due to their higher damage output, but less so for regular healing). Scouts, don't even bother (unless you're hurt or carrying the intel) cause the humble medic just can't keep up, and it's really annoying when you call for a medic, run ahead, and leave your medic stranded in the middle of the enemy base with half an ubercharge. You're hurting the whole team if you do that.
• DO thank your medic- wait, the game does that for you. Never mind. But,
• DO NOT get attached to your medic. It is an alliance of utility, and although you can't see it, the medic's life is filled with the screams of those in pain, just like you were. If your medic chooses to leave you, it is not because you've done something wrong, but because out there on that hellish battlefield there's a comrade who needs him more than you do- perhaps health for a trapped soldier, or a timely uber for a rushing pyro. Be thankful for your time together, and let him go.
• DO heal your medic. If you're a heavy, drop a sandvich. If you're another medic, top your fellow healer up. I don't think any other classes have healing abilities, so that actually covers it, but it really can make your life easier (especially as a heavy- you don't need that sandvich anyway, if you have a medic!). And finally, a pet peeve of mine:
• DO NOT deliberately injure yourself to get the attention of a medic! Especially not in game, but also not in setup time. There is enough time in most setup periods for a medic to fill their Uber Bar, and you hurting yourself and calling out just makes matters much more difficult for your lab-coated friend, especially if he's trying to boost everyone's health up to over-limit before the match. So follow these simple tips, and your time with your medic will be so much more worthwhile for both of you, and make it more likely that should the opportunity arise, you will be chosen for ubercharging over your ignorant and impolite teammates. And remember, medics are people too!